I was over-exercising and under-fuelling, I was in denial: Lanning

Former Australia cricket captain Meg Lanning said that an unhealthy "obsession" with food and exercise led to her sudden international retirement last year aged just 31.

Lanning captained Australia's all-conquering women's team for almost a decade, winning four T20 World Cups, a 50-over World Cup and Commonwealth Games Gold. But behind the star batter's cool exterior, she says that she was struggling.

In an interview for the Howie Games podcast, Lanning revealed that she began running up to 90 kilometres (56 miles) a week but did not eat enough to fuel her "obsession". She said she lost significant weight, struggled to sleep, became moody and withdrew from people close to her.

“I was over-exercising and under-fuelling. I got to the point where I was doing about 85-90km a week. I was in denial. It became a bit of ‘I am going to show you’ sort of thing. It sort of just spiralled. I was not in a place to be able to go on tour and play cricket and give the commitment levels required for that Ashes series mentally and physically," said Lanning.

“I am naturally fine spending time with myself but there were very few people who I would want to engage with. I would get really snappy – real moody – if anyone asked anything. I got down to 57kg from 64kg. It wasn’t ridiculous (but it was) significant. The ratios were out of whack. I did not realise (it affected) my ability to concentrate. I didn’t really want to see other people. I disengaged a lot from friends and family.”

“It (running) became a bit of an obsession. I could escape mentally. I would throw the headphones in but would not take my phone with me. I would have my Apple watch with me and listen to music. Nobody could contact me.”

Lanning, who has continued playing in the Women's Big Bash League (WBBL) and the Women's Premier League (WPL) WPL in India, declined to label the problem an eating disorder. But she eventually sought help after it began affecting her life.

“It was not labelled that but I was exercising a lot but not eating enough to fuel that – I was a bit out of whack. I felt very out of control in terms of what my future looked like. If it’s not cricket what does life look like if I am not playing?

“How could I not want to travel the world and play cricket? That doesn’t make any sense.l”

So, were her teammates aware that she was struggling? “I think they knew something was up. I couldn’t see anything in my appearance but (others) could see it. And everything that comes with it. You become grumpy. Not talking to many people. Not being able to concentrate. Not sleeping. Your head just goes round and round and it’s not a nice place to be.

“I dreaded night-time because I knew I would go to bed and not be able to sleep. That would make me so mad. I would just get more angry with myself. If you can’t sleep you can’t do anything.

“I’ve learnt that regardless of who you are there is always something happening. I guess I have realised how much telling to people and letting them know can actually help even if they don’t have an answer.”

Play Asli Fantasy on Cricket.com. Download the App Now.