SATIRE!
Follow UsChennai Super Kings
What to expect: Push Mustafizur to greater heights
If your career has been going through a rough patch and there’s no way out, please head down south to Chennai Super Kings. After spending two years in Delhi, Mustafizur Rahman’s career is in no different place.
He was going to seek a vacation, and then he figured out why not get a break and yet push your career opportunities? Chennai’s bid came at an opportune time for the Bangladeshi pacer. With the injured Matheesha Pathirana, a doubtful starter for the franchise, Mustafizur has a real opportunity to showcase his skills.
All that is left is for Dhoni to push him to greater heights (IYKYK)
Delhi Capitals
What to expect: Tactics
What is a polar bear doing in Arlington, Texas? If you aren’t well-versed with that meme, the polar bear is tactics and Arlington is Delhi Capitals.
Expecting such a thing from Ricky Ponting is almost like sighting a Polar Bear but in Hauz Khas. Chances are that you might struggle to find both. But the bigger stupidity is that you are still trying to find them both.
Therefore, expecting such a thing would be a grave disaster waiting to happen. Don't be shocked if DC gets another batter when their bowling department is just SINKING!
Gujarat Titans
What to expect: Ashish Nehra to unretire
Did you really really think that Hardik Pandya was the man behind Gujarat reaching two finals?
You are wrong.
It was this man all the while. Ashish Nehra, the chad. He’s the one. Now, none of you really will take him seriously. Because he wears his cap reverse, he drinks Tender Coconut Water and constantly asks bowlers to bowl length deliveries.
Nehra will unretire, and instead of dictating terms from the boundary ropes, he would be dictating terms from the middle. Shubman Gill might just be a captain (on paper) like Hardik was.
Kolkata Knight Riders
What to expect: Shreyas Iyer opening the batting
Quite literally. Expecting the Kolkata-based franchise to have one opening pair is a cardinal sin. They have so many options that they are never satisfied with one opening pair.
Last year saw them shuffle literally six opening pairs. SIX.
That could just be an indication to expect more. Did you hear that Iyer was going to open the innings? In your naive mind, you might be thinking that it is Venkatesh who is going to open alongside one of Phil Salt or Rahmanullah Gurbaz.
But did you know that, that Iyer was Shreyas Iyer.
Ami Kolkata, Ami rules.
Lucknow Super Giants
What to expect: Ban Biryani and Kebabs in the dressing room
No more toasted sandwiches.
We have heard that before. Justin Langer is quite a disciplinarian. So, extending from there, Langer has decided to ban the best delicacies from the state - Biryani and Kebabs.
Why do you think Gautam Gambhir left the franchise and joined his old franchise? Because he wasn’t allowed to eat his manpasand (favourite) Biryani. If that isn’t enough, there are no kebabs of any sort allowed either.
So, if you see more dejected faces and a KL Rahul not too happy with a win, you know why.
Mumbai Indians
What to expect: Rohit being dropped
Same same but different. What made the management decide that Rohit Sharma shouldn't be captaining?
Mark Boucher: (Not answered)
Time and again during that press conference, the duo of Boucher and Hardik Pandya refused to answer any question about Rohit. It seems puzzling, yet it seems normal.
Last year, Rohit missed two games because of an upset stomach. This year, he won’t miss games; he might just miss THE TOURNAMENT.
With Pandya leading the side, expect Rohit to be dropped from the setup.
Punjab Kings
What to expect: Expectations
Expecting anything from the Punjab franchise in itself is too big an expectation.
Ask the Punjab fans. Either they are already expecting Preity Zinta to make more appearances. Or are they expecting the team to make a better appearance this year? Either way, all they are doing is expecting.
The reality of their team is such that anything beyond expectation is too big an expectation. So, either don’t expect or just expect to don’t expect a lot.
Rajasthan Royals
What to expect: Ashwin to appeal for time-out
Ravichandran Ashwin has done it all.
100 Tests, 500 Test wickets, all kinds of dismissals, and even got himself retired out last time around in the tournament.
When someone has done it all, what could possibly be left for him to do?
APPEAL FOR TIME-OUT.
Over the last year, the buzzword in cricket has been time-out. If you don’t recall what happened to Angelo Mathews, Bangladesh has ensured that you always remember it.
Considering how much that has stirred the internet up and Ashwin’s presence on the internet, a timed-out dismissal isn’t too far away from the works. Who is going to be the batter?
Royal Challengers Bangalore
What to expect: Good death-over bowling
An age-old joke, hahahaha. Very funny.
Expecting a lot from Bangalore’s bowling unit in itself is a joke. But to expect their death-over bowling to excel at the Chinnaswamy Stadium - That’s taking humour to a whole new level. Every year, they try to assemble the best squads, but then they forget that there’s this concept called death-over bowling.
A concept where bowlers try to contain runs in the last five overs of an innings. So expecting that from them could just be bizarre and quite S-A-T-I-R-I-C-A-L.
Sunrisers Hyderabad
What to expect: Play with the Opposition's jersey on
It is quite possible. If there is ever one team that can do such a thing at the Indian T20 league level, it is the franchise from Hyderabad.
Last year, they did the unthinkable when they submitted the wrong teamsheet to the match official with Sanvir Singh’s name on the sheet. Instead of submitting the batting first team sheet, the franchise had submitted the bowling first team sheet, which didn't have the all-rounder's name. So, how can they top that? Wear their jersey reverse? Nah, better.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy: Walk out with the opposition jersey this IPL.
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