2022 IPL: Awards that BCCI don’t hand out

We are once again back at it, the IPL 2022 Awards in category that the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) don’t really hand out in. While all of these awards are purely a work of fiction, it may or may not contain names of real-life people. Just kidding, it will definitely contain names of people who are part of the 2022 IPL. 

Anchor of the tournament

Winner: Kane Williamson

Surprise, surprise, who would have expected Kane Williamson to be here? It is only fitting that we open this award slowly, right? Who better than Williamson, who strikes under-par in the powerplay to kick-off these awards. Williamson has really taken the anchor role seriously, why else do you think SRH’s boat has never reached its destination? 

Kohli’s reaction of the year award 

Winner: Rishabh PantNew era demands new awards, BCCI! While they are not going to hand these anytime soon, we decided to take the issue very seriously. So, Rishabh Pant wins this award (Kohli’s reaction of the year) after his dismissal against Chennai Super Kings. Ya, he did look back at his stumps. 

Fastest delivery of the year 

Winner: Dale Steyn

While we were tempted to use the ‘S’ word, not speed but the other one you ‘instant’ly recollect, we refrained from that. Some awards are meant to be and this is one of them. We request the winner, Dale Steyn to come and collect the award. Guess why? Because he is often credited for Umran’s success, isn’t he? 

‘MS Dhoni’ Most Calm captain award

Winner: Mayank Agarwal

Mayank-ji, aap? Weren’t you going to play the playoffs, you this side? Okay sorry but the next category of awards, the ‘MS Dhoni’ most calm captain award goes to Mayank Agarwal. Remember when Odean Smith was on the receiving end of the carnage? Mayank was there to support him. His captaincy has been good in that aspect. 

Bizarre-O-Really Award

Winner: Mahela Jayawardene

Oh really, that’s bizarre is how we came up with the award. And since we came up with it, we had just the one name on our minds and that is Mumbai Indians’ head coach, Mahela Jayawardene. And its not because of their season. It wouldn’t be wrong even if it was given for that but the award goes to Jayawardene because of this bizarre statement. 

“...Obviously, one of the best bowlers that we’ve bought in the auction is Jof (Jofra Archer) – Jof is not here. So, it is tough when you are in that kind of situation, but we are trying to see how best we can manage.” If you do recollect, Archer was never going to be available for this season. 

The Best ‘Rahul’ of the IPL 

Winner: Rahul TewatiaWith the entire IPL in Maharashtra, we ought to hand out some Bollywood awards. Rahul, naam toh suna hi hoga? If not, here is your chance. We would like to welcome KL Rahul, to present the award to his dear Rahul, Tewatia. Rahul Tewatia, at least iss naam ko toh suna hi hoga. The Best Rahul, none other than Gujarat’s Rahul Tewatia. 

There was a close shout with Rahul Tripathi but he is underrated and we don’t hand awards to underrated players. Also, Gujarat idhar bhi milke award collect karte hain. 

Baazigar Award 

Winner: Sanju Samson

“Haar Kar Jeetne Wale Ko Baazigar Kehte Hai,” Baazigar (circa 1993). But this is 2022, Toss Haar ke match jeetne wale ko Samson kehte hain. It is that simple, Royals have lost the toss plenty of times this season but seldom have they been on the losing side. So, for that alone, for showing that toss isn’t the only important factor, we welcome Sanju Samson to collect the award. 

On-field antic of the year

Winner: Riyan Parag

We had to keep our commentators happy, sorry about that. The universally agreed category by all the commentators, the On-field antic of the year award goes to Riyan Parag. Maybe someday, they will recognise his cricketing talent but till then big applause to him for his celebrations (Cheap production). 

Lakhan Award

Winner: Daniel Sams

This one is a tough nut to crack. The Lakhan award, for 1 2 Ka 4, 4 2 Ka 1, My Name Is Lakhan goes to the Australian all-rounder Daniel Sams. During the first half of the tournament, he was 1 2 ka 4 and now in the last stage of the competition, he has been 4 2 ka 1. The one and only Lakhan, Daniel Sams. 

Mumbaikar Award

Winner: Jos Buttler

Isse kehta hain, Mumbaikar Mumbaikar. He’s the badshaah of Wankhede, the destroyer of several bowling units this season, the ‘Jos’ Mamu as a lot of people address him, none other than Jos Buttler. He has scored 251 runs at the Wankhede this season and epitomizes the city culture with his ‘Jaldi Jaldi’ attitude and hava aane de batting style. 

The Godfather

Winner: MS Dhoni

The next segment is one that we love giving, at least as long as he is still playing in the IPL – the Godfather award. It goes to none other than CSK’s skipper, skipper MS Dhoni. A captaincy of two halves this season for the Super Kings, who would forget (Not you, Jadeja). 

Mr.India 

Winner: Ishan Kishan

Our next award is special. And we have a special guest too for this award, Mr John Cena. Wait, where has he disappeared now. Isn’t it only fitting that Mr. Cena will give away the Mr.India award to Mumbai Indians’ most costliest buy at the Auction, Ishan Kishan. He has pulled off quite a few disappearing acts this season alongside Kieron Pollard.