Follow UsHey, I’m @WatchRealSportNotWomensCricket, and I’m ready to roast the Indian team on all my social media channels today. Against South Africa, who couldn’t even get a wicket in the powerplay, all India could get is under 300, cha, even the India A team would get 350 against this bowling unit.
Let me type my message real quick, and keep it ready.
*******
“Equal pay for what?
Equal pay to lose three games in a row? Equal pay to do reels on TikToks and Instagram? Equal pay for them to smile shamelessly when the team has been butchered on the field?
Which team in their right sense loses three games and wins the final? Shouldn’t they win all the way through and lose the final? Also, why are they getting paid the same amount as men’s cricket if they can’t even put 50% effort on the field? Who is really buying tickets to watch a Women’s World Cup game?
Harmanpreet Kaur – the one who blames teammates
Isn’t Harmanpreet Kaur the one who constantly criticises all her teammates?
She’s the one who said Smriti Mandhana should have finished the match against England, right? How dare she! Can you imagine any other big captain ever criticising a junior player, forget senior?
What has she even done in the tournament? Dropped Jemimah Rodrigues, that’s all! Wasn’t she one of the worst captains in the tournament? She shouldn’t even be close to that trophy.
Attitude 100%, Performance 0%.
Smriti Mandhana – flat track bully
She can only perform in dead rubbers.
Only scores runs against Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh.
Give her Australia, and she will not score a single run. Bilateral hero, ICC events zero.
Did she even score runs against Australia, England and South Africa in the World Cup? Paan Masala Trophy mei runs banao, so-called queen, playing for 10+ years, Smriti Mandhana for you.
Deepti Sharma – Only became famous because of controversies
Deepti Sharma always runs around slowly on the field.
She never contributes when the team requires her to; whenever I have seen her, she’s always played tuk-tuk cricket.
How did she even become the best all-rounder in women’s cricket? Are the standards of women’s cricket that bad? All she gets is those junk wickets at the end, and she celebrates it like she won the World Cup.
Have you even seen her perform in the World Cup final? No, because she was the reason India lost in the 2022 ODI World Cup semis, where she bowled a no-ball. She wouldn’t have been famous if not for that controversial run-out to dismiss Charlie Dean; no one cares about her.
Jemimah Rodrigues – TikTok, Reels and Guitar
Ya, Jemimah is the talk of the town, I know that. I know she scored 127* in the semi-final against Australia.
But how about before that? Two ducks in the tournament and a lot of dance reels, she had more contributions on Instagram than on the field.
I have only commented on many of her reels: ‘Reels queen, do something useful for the country’.
One fluke knock filled with drop catches, and now she’s back to reality – 24 off 37 in the final. There’s no World Cup for doing trendy reels, hope she knows that.
Shafali Verma – Can’t play international cricket
Fluke that she performed in the final, on any other day, Marizanne Kapp would have got her first ball with an inswinging delivery.
Doesn’t even deserve to be in the team in the first place. Did you even see her performance in the semi-final against Australia? That’s why she wasn’t in the squad in the first place.
Another final, another loss, and now they will blame it all on the toss. I'd rather follow the national carrom rankings or a kabaddi league from 2012. At least those are real sports where people commit 100%.”
******
Oh, wait, I’m in deep trouble, they have won, what do I do now? Oh damn, I should type something generic like tons and thousands of people out there. Wait, let me ask ChatGPT for a congratulatory message.
Got it, let me post it on my social handles.
“Unbelievable performance by the entire squad! From the nerve-wracking chase against Australia to the dominant display in the Final, you played with heart, skill, and fire. Relish every moment of this historic achievement. You've earned this! So proud of our World Cup winners!”
P.S. This article is 200% satirical, and may even personally harm you if you feel that women’s cricket isn’t a thing, and the Indian women didn’t deserve BCCI’s support